Posts on DIY ZEN

What flavour of freedom do you want?

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 01:14:54 -0800

We’re surrounded by people claiming to fight for our freedom without ever stopping to decide what it’s supposed to mean. The problem, though, is that the way you think about freedom defines what you’ll do to protect yours. And, if you’re not conscious about it, you might internalise a sense of freedom that holds you back.

By deciding on a clear framework for freedom – knowing that language itself is a loose approximation of the world – you can make conscious choices that help it flourish. If you view freedom as something more than the space to do whatever you want, you get to make richer choices. You can connect yourself to a wider community of people by extending your view of liberation beyond your own preferences (they’ll just hold you back anyway).

Your preferences will get in the way of your happiness

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 01:14:54 -0800

In your moment to moment life, it’s easy to confuse preferences with requirements.

Here’s an example:

I’m vegetarian. That’s a preference based on my moral view of the world. Some of my friends are celiac. They eat gluten free to avoid a whole suite of ailments and issues. That’s a requirement.

Often, requirements aren’t just a you thing – they take a community to act upon. If someone can’t manage stairs, they can’t go around installing ramps and elevators everywhere themselves. Childcare is best done as a communal act. When my dad needed a hand after a few major surgeries, we helped out.

Don’t accept a more comfortable way of suffering

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 01:14:54 -0800

Every day, I realise something is wrong. Maybe it’s in my heart, maybe it’s in my community. There’s definitely a problem somewhere on the internet.

Then, after staring at it, you realise you don’t know how to solve the problem. It feels intractable and you don’t know why.

In her book Radical dharma, the Zen priest angel Kyodo williams describes the problem like so:

As Bruce Lee famously said, “Under duress, we do not rise to our expectations, but fall to our level of training.” Hundreds of years of living in a context designed by pillagers of the land and captors of people – without sufficient intervention – naturally establishes the curriculum of the training to which we fall.

Don’t listen to the voice in your head

Sat, 24 Jan 2026 01:14:54 -0800

Imagine your internal monologue was a real person who just hung out with you all day.

24/7. All the time. Yapping away. Changing their mind every two seconds. Giving you dubious advice. Having inexplicably strong opinions on your hair.

Would you be friends with them? Probably not, right?

So: why do you listen to the voice in your head?

You’re not the voice (try and understand it)

The voice you hear in your head – or images, sounds, whatever – isn’t you. You can tell because you can actively observe it.

You can't be happy unless you're comfortable being happy

Sat, 17 Jan 2026 01:14:54 -0800

One night last winter, I was sitting in the living room. Tim, my cat, was on my lap. It was cold out but he, being mostly fur, was warm. I was scratching his neck and he was purring and it was – for a time – a perfect moment.

The feeling started in my chest. I know “warm orange glow” isn’t a feeling, but stick with me here, that’s how it felt. A fuzzy orange glow, a gentle ball of tacky 80s shag carpet, expanding in my chest and into my throat.

Do the next right thing

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 01:14:54 -0800

If you ever feel uncomfortable emailing someone you respect out of nowhere, remember this: in 1933, a woman sent psychologist Carl Jung a letter asking how to “live well”.

A breezy question to ask, no doubt.

Jung responded, absolutely spiking the question as “unanswerable because you want to know how one ought to live.” He said that “one lives as one can.”

That said, he did give this woman – who needed help and went to the trouble of penning the famous psych for advice – some practical help:

The five things that define your work

Sun, 02 Feb 2025 04:14:54 -0800

You can always be deliberate about your life.

Do I illuminate or diminish people?

Sun, 19 Jan 2025 04:14:54 -0800

Stay empty, stay friendly.

Make eye contact with the things you're avoiding

Sun, 19 Jan 2025 04:14:54 -0800

I’m a classic avoider. It’s a miracle I typed this sentence at all.

How to become more aware of your body, mood and thoughts

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 04:14:54 -0800

It starts with one question: are you hungry?

How to start your day well

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 04:14:54 -0800

Check in with yourself.

How to design your life purpose

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 04:14:54 -0800

I spent far too much time trying to find a passion or a purpose. It didn’t work.

The practical way to think about the future

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 04:14:54 -0800

Tomorrow is made from today.

You can always change your dreams.

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 04:14:54 -0800

Don’t let your past self get you stuck.

Making peace with your inevitable death

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 04:14:54 -0800

You can always be deliberate about your life.

The four parts of clear thinking

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 04:14:54 -0800

Ardency, self awareness, mindfulness and concentration.

How to keep going (when the world feels fucked)

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 04:14:54 -0800

And it so often does.

Love and chunder: how to reframe bad times

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Vomiting ain’t all bad.

Building a self out of stuff doesn't work

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Another point against consumerism.

Changing your life takes more than just ideas

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Take action, take control of your life.

Find freedom in being disliked

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 04:14:54 -0800

You’ll never make everyone happy. That’s cool.

Embrace how little you can do

Sat, 24 Jun 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Your time is finite. Embrace that.

The way you describe your life will be how you live it

Sat, 10 Jun 2023 04:14:54 -0800

When you say “should”, you impose expectations.

The six parts of self-esteem

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 04:14:54 -0800

You can build self-esteem. Belive.

Changing your life means giving up parts of yourself

Sat, 03 Jun 2023 04:14:54 -0800

To deal with depression, I needed to let go of the part of myself that thought I was managing by myself.

You won't find freedom in being productive

Mon, 29 May 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Hobbies. You need hobbies.

How to solve your single biggest problem

Thu, 25 May 2023 04:14:54 -0800

You have problems. Here’s how to solve one big one.

Gift giving can help you find your place in the world

Tue, 09 May 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Yes, giving and receiving gifts can be a bit awkward. But they’re an important part of building relationships.

Habits help structure our lives (and they don't have to be productivity)

Fri, 05 May 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Get some nice habits in your life.

Hating my body felt honest – but 'negative' doesn't mean 'more real'

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 04:14:54 -0800

Negativity can feel honest. But it’s not.

You're a new person every time you meet someone.

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 04:14:54 -0800

This messes me up all the time.

Anger and ego stop people from building meaningful relationships.

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 04:14:54 -0800

They’ll set you up for failure every time.

A practical definition of love

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 04:14:54 -0800

It’s more than just really liking something.